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“They start to mimic relationships that people around them have,” says Bates.
“They start to ask questions like, ‘How did you and Dad meet?
"Be clear on what the roles are so that no one feels threatened." Dr.
Michael says that assumptions lead to miscommunication, which can be doubly disastrous when there are young kids involved.
Over the next couple weeks, conversations with other parents revealed that who-likes-whom in the classroom had suddenly become important.
” I asked after she’d recovered, remembering my own first crush in grade one, and the games of kiss-tag my girlfriends and I initiated with far-less-interested boys during recess in grade three. “But I think we’re too young to be kissing.” I thought, feeling rattled and totally unprepared for talking about crushes with my little girl.
“You still see them as your little babies,” she says. “This is the beginning of talking about relationships. Freedman Smith says it’s a delicate balance between validating the child’s feelings while not putting too much attention on the crush.Communication is also important for another reason: At some point, you'll need to make sure that your role in the children's lives is clear."You never want to assume you're taking on the role of a biological parent," says Yamonte Cooper, Ed D, a licensed professional clinical counselor based in California.“They learn that there’s some kind of a ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ around nudity and sexuality,” Freedman Smith says.“This is a time when you’re more likely to walk in on two kids behind closed doors playing doctor.” Also influencing first crushes are the fairy-tale messages children receive from books and movies, such as stories about a princess and her prince.
One night last spring, as I was tucking my seven-year-old daughter in at bedtime, she started telling me about a boy in her class who liked her. “It’s a normal phase of development,” says Allison Bates, a registered clinical counsellor who practises in Burnaby and Coquitlam, BC.