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The film Fatal Attraction (quite an excellent performance by Glenn Close) and the recent court case of Jodi Arias come to mind.
What do all the films and print stories have in common? Dating a person with BPD is not part of your deal – or so you thought.
It’s overboard across the map: When it’s good it’s great – but when it’s bad it’s really bad.
There is no middle ground when standing at the borderline.
Linehan (1993) developed a treatment approach for BPD called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).
It’s a combination of Eastern Mindfulness Training and Western Cognitive Behavior Therapy.
Remember you cannot make somebody happy – happiness is an inside job! My German grandmother used to say, “ Hope is the last to die.” Yes, certainly there is always hope yet – baseline behavior aka normalcy as you and experience it is a long hike away for people with BPD.
Plus co-occurring disorders such as substance and eating disturbances, reckless spending and mood disorders add to the emotional burden.
Jodi Arias – in my opinion, – a good example of a woman with quiet BPD (she functions superficially well but her chameleon-like façade breaks open once her relational views are challenged) murdered her ex-boyfriend Travis Alexander; Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction attempted to murder her former lover but failed and found her own death.
Most real-life relationships with a partner who has BPD are not deadly.
Nevertheless the healthy mate wonders, “Why are we on these constant roller coaster rides?
” Sooner rather than later he starts to resent walking on eggshells around his lover.
The repertoire generally includes parasuicidal gestures – none life-threatening surface wrist, ankle and upper thigh cutting – or suicide threats that scare a person who never dealt with somebody who is unable to regulate her emotions. How can I fix it.” Well the answer is easy, “You can’t fix it!